Thieves no longer need pawn shops; just return it to Walmart.

Wal-Mart's new "we'll take anything" return policy is universally adored by thieves, bandits, crooks, and ne'er-do-wells of all kinds.

The smiley-face Best Buy employee had all manner of unpleasantness on his hands.

Store owner Ned is always smiling, ever since he turned his two best friends into hands. They're not happy about it, but hey, when you live in a world of yellow smiley faces, you gotta do what it takes to get a pair of hands.

Joe was glad to see the smiley faces setting in the clear blue sky. The gargantuan hands however were enraged to see Joe happy.