If only life were so simple that everything could be solved by a sixteen ounce cookie of crack-cocaine.

The man cried and sighed with sadness as he remembered his friends who fell victim to the can of radioactive waste. Yes, gung-ho Military Mark, Deadman Sam, and Gary the Apathetic Green Glob all succumbed to the effects of the dreaded yellow-brown radiati

He mourned the loss of his three best friends: a soldier, a sentient lima bean, and the grim reaper, who had all died from a horrible nuclear waste spill.

carelessly spilled radioactive sludge took out Domo, a grizzled army sergeant and even death but spared a very unimpressed Billy Corgan.

Even though the local band thought it would bring a great effect to their gig, the toxic waste wasn't a big hit with the local trick or treaters