Jules from Pulp Fiction actually wanted a wallet that said "A really super guy", but the novelty wallet store was out.

I had entered the store expecting to buy a smiley face wallet, but the clerk informed me that the happy smiley face wallets that were advertised were out of stock and all that was left were angry face wallets.

"Excuse me sir, do you perchance have any fresh smiley faces ?" the man eagerly queried the clerk. "Smiley faces ? No, can I interest you in a frowny face ?" responded the clerk.

"Hey there, do you have any fun for sale?" "Fun? Here, why don't you buy some sad instead?" "Fuck you"

Me?! No, it wasn't me. It was the black guy who flipped you off.