Our spew is your brew!

Most people don't know this, but green beer is actually recycled vomit from last St. Patrick's day.

I got sick on St Patricks day and they made me clean it up while my boyfriend flirted with a girl with big boobies.

I am so Emo. Look at everyone else with happy lives, like that guy with the big breasted girlfriend. I am just left wiping my green tears off the floor wearing an Irish hat. I am so lonely.

'These boobs without a whole body to be attached to are a metaphor for my soul stranded in a wasteland of unfeeling jerks,' the emo kid thought as s/he wept, 'and I feel like tacos. Think I'll go slit my wrists instead'