She said that no one would believe her, but it was undeniably ugly.

Little Stevie cried tears of blood upon discovering how his childhood hero Commander Keen had let himself go in his college years.

I'm not crying blood because he raped me... it's because he raped me and he's an flabby Army zombie-fetishist with bad oral hygeine!

Zombies are getting smarter -- now that they've started wearing army fatigues and eating breath mints, they've been able to convince girls who cry blood to give them hand jobs. They're still working out how to eat more brains, though.

As the woman cried blood, she nervously reached forward and touched the first soldier's sizable bulge.