I think the Presidential candidates should decide the victor by means of a 70 mph helicopter bungee jousting tournament.

The 08 primaries are like helicopter rides: No matter what side you're on, you end up dangling by your feet.

As well as becoming president, the winner of this year's election also gets to tie their opponent to the vehicle of their choice and ride around in it.

After Barack Obama won the election he created a new bill to allow himself to tie up Joe Biden to his ute and drive around.

To reverse the wrongs of decades' worth of callous enslavement of Africans, the American government has just legalized slavery... of Caucasian folk! Visit your white-person dealer today! Discounts on older models; white-person carrier not required.